I want to have your abortion
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
