I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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