Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
pop tarts are not kleenex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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