A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize