This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
