Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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