PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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