singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
