We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
