hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
