I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
