alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize