I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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