The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
