Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize