Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
