How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
