In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
