porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
