She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I came so hard my ears popped.
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