do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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