i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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