True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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