It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Rumble strips road head = magical
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
