My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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