then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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