He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The beer is more important than you right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
