how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
