Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
