Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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