Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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