You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
this hospital has no fireball
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize