Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
