those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
