Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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