I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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