Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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