32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
