i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
