wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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