problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
