She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
