miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
