Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize