Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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