She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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