im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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