Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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