Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
