I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
