the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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