This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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