I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
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and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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