I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
