i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
