His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
