let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
