would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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