Apparently you make a good broom.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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