That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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