Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
