hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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