No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
