I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
