I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
