What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
