Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
