The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just pee around me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
